I’ve been on a Law and Order binge this holiday season. As every human with eyes and couches knows, this entails watching roughly more hours of Law and Order per day than there are hours in a given day for more days than there are days, and it’s such a common occurrence in humanity, I don’t even feel the need to acknowledge this practice as unusual or even really noteworthy.

So I’m writing this post not to brag about amateur tv-addict behaviour (Britishized for class), but to point out three universal observations about the show that we’ve all noticed and all pointed out before, but which require cataloging here so that when future alien civilizations discover Law and Order and BWE.tv in that order, they’ll be all like, “Yeah I know, right???” Then they’ll be like “Blaxnorff!!!” cause they’re aliens and only speak some English.

John Mulaney has a comprehensive standup bit about L&O that covers the universal basics of the show with superhuman accuracy — Jerry Orbach’s before-the-commercial corpse wisecracks, the New York bartender who remembers everyone, the vague and lame pre-body discovery extras dialogue, and so on — but the show is so ubiquitous, so unapologetically formulaic, and still so inexplicably addictive after all these years, I feel the list of universally accepted L&O rules needs to be expanded.

To pre-emptively avoid rambling forever, I’ve kept the list to just three. Without murder ado (typing that hurt both of us), here are 3 Additional Universal Truths of Law & Order.
( In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the detectives who investigate the crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the defendants. These are their stories... )
www.bestweekever.tv/2009-12-29/3-universal-truths-of-law-and-order/

In July we learned that Christian Siriano was collaborating with Starbucks, but details weren't to be announced until November 17. But Christian couldn't wait that long, so he started tweeting about it yesterday. Sadly, he is not making beverage costumes to replace the boring cardboard sleeves. He just designed a miniature Starbucks gift card that you can put on a key chain. Also, Starbucks donated $50,000 on his behalf to the Art of Elysium, an organization that connects celebrities with kids battling serious medical conditions. So Christian is designing dresses for five young ladies between the ages of 15 and 19 who have been in and out of the hospital. The ladies will wear the dresses to the Art of Elysium gala in January. Hopefully, Christian (and his boyfriend, Brad) will escort them. Here you see a picture of them with their sketches. Ironically, when Christian had to dress a teen for a Project Runway challenge, he almost lost the episode. But we vaguely recall that owing more to That Girl's diva ways than to anything else.

Read more: Remember That Secret Starbucks Collaboration Christian Siriano Is Doing? -- The Cut http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/10/remember_that_secret_starbucks.html#ixzz0b85A6vT3

SAUCE

Pretty much posting this because blondie on the far left is one of my lifelong bffs. :3

"Top Chef Las Vegas" pitted brother against brother, but the two finalists are now showing some brotherly love via the World Wide Web.

Bryan and Michael Voltaggio, the runner-up and winner of Bravo's popular reality-cooking competition, will star in a Web series focusing on their favorite ingredients, techniques and gadgets.

The videos will be posted beginning in January on the Voltaggio Brothers Web site, VoltaggioBrothers.com, "The Website for Food Lovers."

Bryan, 33, is chef and partner at VOLT, his critically-acclaimed restaurant in Frederick, Md. Younger brother Michael, 30, serves as Chef de Cuisine at the Michelin-starred the Dining Room at the Langham in Pasadena, Calif.



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For those of you who have seen the movie already, you're aware of the very brief scene depicting the coupling of Jake Sully's (played by Sam Worthington) avatar body with the alien Na'vi, Ney'tiri (Zoe Saldana). Very little was shown of that encounter, but you may get your chance to see exactly how the Na'vi "do it" when the DVD comes out, said Cameron in a recent group interview.

We had it in and we cut it out. So that will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex.

If you guessed that the strange tendrils the Na'vi use to connect or "sync" with other creatures on Pandora might have something to do with how they "get their groove on," you would be right, according to Saldana.

If you sync to your banshee and you’re syncing to a tree, why not sync into a person? I almost feel like you’ll have the most amazing orgasm, I guess. It was a very funny scene to shoot because there were so many technical things that sometimes you have to keep in mind that paying attention to all those might disrupt the fluidity of how a scene is supposed to take place.
And because Jim was shooting for a PG-13 rating, we couldn’t move in certain directions. The motion would look a little too past the PG-13 rating standards. So it was really funny for Sam and me. We had a lot of giggles there.

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The porn parodies are getting a bit out of hand, but I couldn’t resist the tagline, “Hustler Hunts for Things That Go Hump in the Night!” Check out the trailer and press release below!

I wonder what porn company is working on the Paranormal Activity spoof? You know it's coming.

Recently acquiring the talents of director S. Wayne, the This Ain’t Ghost Hunters XXX parody follows the PAPS team—the Pacific Association of the Paranormal Society — as they search for answers to the unexplained, the undead and the undersexed!

( SFW trailer under cut. The 'plot' summary is probably NSFL. )

sauce

Old, but I haven't seen this posted, and I know ONTD loves some Ghost Hunters.

The car firm's first foray into social media in Australia backfired after it invited film-makers to create a new online advertisement for its Yaris model, a small car which is sold mostly to female buyers.

But eyebrows were raised when it emerged that the winning entry featured a innuendo-laden conversation between a man and his daughter's boyfriend.

In the the video, titled "Clean Getaways", the boyfriend says: "I'm here to take Jennifer's virginity out tonight."

Her father replies: "She can take a good pounding in any direction", before the daughter chimes in with: "I'm ready to blow."

It ends with the young man telling his girlfriend's father: "I'll have her on her back by 11".

After the short film was voted the most popular by viewers, the competition's Facebook page was inundated with complaints that the video was deeply offensive, the Age reports.

( Read more... )

Or, skip to about 1:55 for some EXTRA creamy goodness!
LOL, she's playing a prank on one of her dancers with a cream filled hat but happens to get creamed herself. idc, thought it was cute <3

( also, here is a LQ video of Ms. Cyrus being named #100 on uk's most annoying of 2009 )

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The Jersey Shore Wants Nothing to Do with Jersey Shore

The Jersey Shore wants you to know the only thing it shares with MTV's Jersey Shore is a name.

The Borough of Seaside Heights, N.J., the setting of the controversial reality series, is downplaying its association with The Situation & Co. and says that the behavior portrayed on the show is "not indicative" of the majority of its visitors.

"The governing body wants it to be known that they did not solicit, promote or participate in the filming of this show," John Camera, borough administrator, said in a statement. "The production company that filmed the show did obtain a shoot permit to film in Seaside Heights, but these permits must be issued as it is a first amendment right to film in public places. Furthermore, the Borough does not condone any discriminatory remarks against Italian Americans, domestic violence or the promiscuous and otherwise bad behavior portrayed on the show."

The town, of course, isn't the only group speaking out against Jersey Shore, which follows eight self-proclaimed "guidos" and "guidettes" during their summer stay on the shore. UNICO, the largest Italian-American organization in the U.S., has been pressuring MTV to cancel the series since before its Dec. 3 premiere because of its stereotypical portrayal of Italian-Americans.

Last week, the New Jersey Italian American Legislative Caucus urged the network to cancel the "wildly offensive" Jersey Shore, which has already lost three advertisers: Domino's, American Family League and Dell.

The negative attention hasn't affected the show's ratings, which have risen steadily since its premiere, attracting 2.5 million viewers for its most recent episode.

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keep hating, you're only making this show more popular

More Kevin Jonas & Danielle Deleasa wedding details from MTV: Inside the reception, Kanielle held a casino-theme cocktail hour and had their fist dance to Keith Urban's 'Only You Can Love Me This Way.' Deleasa said she felt like no one was in the room during that dance, with Kevin adding,'But the moment that killed her was when I dipped her for a kiss.'

The couple plan to move to Texas, but will regularly visit Danielle's family in New Jersey. They will also buy a Maltese Yorkie puppy. Kevin on having children: 'Definitely. Nine,' jokingly.

Joe is responsible for bring them together during their 2007 vacation in the Bahamas: 'I'm the one responsible for getting them together since I hit on Danielle first. If you ever need relationship advice, you can always go to Nick.'
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What do you say to people who think the show is derogatory toward Italians?
People need to relax. It’s just young people having a good time at the Shore. We want to have fun, and yeah we get drunk. It’s just a TV show.

There have been a lot of hookups in the beach house.
Probably at least a hundred alone from Mike and Pauly. Me and Mike hooked up. Jenni and Pauly hooked up. And Ron and Sam — they’re still together.

A few of the girls already had boyfriends before the show.
It’s a very bad idea to come to the Shore with a boyfriend. You’re going to cheat. Angelina cheated. And Jenni cheated — but she and her boyfriend are still together as far as I know.
( juice head )

Gelled hair, micro-minidresses, Ed Hardy emblems and muscle tees have become the signature look of the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore. "My personal style is fresh to death," Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio -- famous for his ultraspiked hair -- tells Life & Style. "Have you ever been to the supermarket? You know the produce section, like where the food is fresh? That's my style."

But on Dec. 21, Life & Style gave these up-and-coming stars a fresh new image, inviting them to ditch the shore and step onto the red carpet at one of NYC's most exclusive nightclubs, Greenhouse, which has a strict dress-your-best policy. There, they modeled the most iconic Hollywood looks of the past few years. And they pulled it off like the A-list pros -- including Kim Kardashian and Megan Fox -- they were emulating. "I like to walk into the room and have everyone notice what I'm wearing," Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi tells Life & Style. Mission accomplished!

Makeover's from left to right: Sammi and Ronnie as the new Brangelina, Sexy 'J-Woww' as Megan Fox, Mike gets into a Jake Gyllenhaal 'situation,' Snooki is a mini Kim Kardashian, Vinny dresses as Justin Timberlake, and Pauly D has Taylor Lautner's style.

For more exclusive Jersey shore photo's and interviews, pick up the latest issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now!

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lol @ sammie and ronnie being the new brangelina~

BASICALLY: Martha Wainwright, Rufus Wainwright's sister, went into labour at 30 weeks when she was on tour in the UK. She had an emergency Caesarean, giving birth to a boy called Arcangelo (her husband's grandfather's name). He has been in the neonatal unit for six weeks, and is doing well (yay!). She has a lot of praise for the NHS and the public health system, calling it 'the only equaliser left in society', and saying 'When you can take the exchange of money out of a life-and-death equation it gives people the chance to be as good as they can be'. She also says:

'To the doctors and nurses on the maternity and neonatal units at University College London Hospitals and the NHS: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.'


( probably tl;dr, but worth it )

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Tom Felton and girlfriend Jade Olivia walk hand in hand down the shore in Miami Beach, Florida on Tuesday afternoon (December 29).

Now enjoying the warm weather, the 22-year-old actor tweeted en route to the States, “Just at T5 airport having breakfast. Plane boards in an hour. I’ll go browse the magazines and headphones again.warm weather here I come.”

Tom recently chatted with MTV News about his favorite Harry Potter director. He shared, “David Yates, who we’ve been working with for the last few years, he’s been by far my personal favorite. I get on with him like a house on fire. I think he’s a genius at what he does.”

( more pics )

JJJ

An internet crusade to raise Torchwood character Ianto Jones from the dead has raised more than £12,000 for Children In Need.

The character, played by Newport actor Gareth David-Lloyd, was killed off during the third series of the popular BBC sci-fi show to the horror of many fans.

Internet campaigns calling for his resurrection were launched on Twitter, LiveJournal and Facebook by dismayed followers of the character.

They have since bombarded the BBC with more than 7,700 complaints and many have sent the corporation coffee – a reference to the character’s status as “Coffee Boy” – to force the corporation to bring the character back.

A charity campaign was launched in Ianto’s memory on the charity site JustGiving, fundraising for Children In Need.

Distraught fans even erected a shrine at Cardiff Bay and continue to leave flowers, photos and messages of condolence to the star.

( More behind the cut. )

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[Gareth David- Lloyd], who is currently playing Prince Charming in pantomime in Preston, said he was flattered and overwhelmed by the response to his character’s demise, and thought viewers had connected with Ianto over the three series.

Mr. Lloyd, 28, added: “I think he could be brought back, but they would have to be careful. It couldn't happen too easily. It’s sci-fi so anything can happen.”

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Singer/Producer Teddy Riley (formerly of the groups Guy & Blackstreet) is being accused of beating the brakes off of his daughter. According to documents filed by his 18 year old daughter Taja, he beat her with a guitar from the video game Rock Band. She also claims he punched, kicked and bashed her and her older sister before kicking them out. She suffered injuries that included bashes to the temple, bruises on her knee and contusions on her face and has been granted a temporary restraining order.

( Picture of his beaten daughter + twitter rivalry )

Scotland may not have gotten one of their own as James Bond, but they'll get the next best thing -- a Scot as the creator of James Bond. Pajiba reports that James McAvoy is attached to play author Ian Fleming in a big screen biopic. The project is currently hunting for a director, though Matt Brown has penned the script from Andrew Lycett's biography.

As Bond fans know, Fleming had a life and personality that mirrored his famous creation. He came from a posh Scottish banking family, and was a world traveler from a very early age. During World War 2, he was recruited from the Black Watch into Royal Navy Intelligence where he was the brainpower behind plans like Operation Goldeneye. His military background gave him a wealth of ideas for his Bond novels, and he eventually retired to Jamaica where he'd pen Casino Royale. By his own admission he always drank too much, smoke too much, and loved too many women -- all of which contributed to an early death at only 56 years old.

McAvoy has the right polish to be Fleming. It's a role better suited to him than his Wanted assassin, and his youth certainly works for Fleming's most exciting years. But considering Fleming was 44 years old when he began drafting his first Bond novel, I think they should have looked to an older Scotsman for the role. Kevin McKidd would have been better -- he looks more like Fleming, and he's mature enough for the Jamaica years. What do you think of McAvoy as the father of your favorite spy?

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FRANCO FAMILY TAKES UP DANCING OVER HOLIDAYS

SCRUBS star DAVE FRANCO is spending the holiday season learning to swing dance with his actor brother James Franco
The 24 year old goes back to his parents' home in Palo Alto, California every year to spend Christmas time with his two brothers, and admits his author mum Betsy started off the festive celebrations this Thanksgiving (27Nov09) with jazz lessons for the whole family.
He explains, "I went up north (for Thanksgiving) - I'm from Palo Alto originally. At Thanksgiving and Christmas time, it's the only time we're all guaranteed to be home. We have a very strange kind of artsy family so this time of year, we have new traditions all the time. My mum decided this year we should all go swing dancing - just the family. Of course I was the only one without a date, and so I had to dance with the teacher, who was a dude. I got a few moves but I'm a goofy dancer!"

 

source: www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/franco-family-takes-up-dancing-over-holidays_1126814

I would love to see this family swing dancing.  How awesomely awkward.